Expectations: Using the person next to you as a pillow.
Reality: Using the pillow next to you as a person.
some bitch: omg you wore that shirt the other day
me: yeah well in my house we have this amazing thing called a washing machine
Fun fact: Humans are deuterostomes, which means that when they develop in the womb the anus forms before any other opening. Which basically means at one point you were nothing but an asshole.
some people never develop beyond this stage
do you ever see a photo of your bias and you’re just struck by how much you like him and how much you want him to be happy and how much his smile can make the world seem brighter and how greasy and cheesy your heart feels because he makes you feel stuff that doesnt seem logical but it is because you cant help thinking he’s the most beautiful boy in the whole world


